Every day in this country thousands of women face the dreaded outcome of an established relationship – her man starts drifting away.   Sometimes women are too critical of a man’s attention – which can fade slightly as a relationship matures – and they overreact with concern.  However, when you are sure that it is not your imagination, there are a series of things you can do to reignite his interest.  The content of these is in our other articles under that title.   This article is intended for women who are attempting to execute a ‘last chance’ scenario – either when words are not appropriate or have been tried – or when there is nothing much more that can be done. 

What is critical here is for your man to be told – with actions – that you will soon be gone.   If this is done properly – and assuming the man still cares – this will often be sufficient to reignite his interest or at least get him to start communicating his concerns.  These tactics – while tried and true – are often difficult for some women to execute because they can have very negative effects on a man.  It is the very effects produced by these tips that result in the communication that is being made.

You should start by reducing everything that you have been giving this guy.   This means reducing the amount of time you spend together, the amount of food, sex, attention, affection and all the other things that you have lavished on him.  Do it over time but make sure that it is noticeable.   If done correctly, even the most aloof man will get it.

After that – and this is often the most difficult to actually do – begin to mention the things that you are doing that represent a departure from past commitments or shared plans.  Include in this category everything from job to vacation.  

Taken together they communicate your intention to move on.   You will also be presenting yourself as an independent woman who is not going to simply wait patiently for the inevitable.   The other and valuable thing it does is, indeed, actually another very good thing – it prepares you in case this last-ditch effort fails.   The last thing that any woman needs is to suddenly face a totally altered life without pre-thought or preparation.  Again, even the most unobservant man will see all this happening and realize what you want him to – that he is definitely losing you and, without immediate reversal, you will simply be gone.

If you are really trying to get ex back from the breakup or if you are planning to win your ex back, a thorough understanding of these ways to protect yourself will help to get ex back.

Most of us are well aware of our best attributes and what are known as our “selling points”.  However, most of us do not use them to full advantage in the dating scene.   We see this every day – that which we are most interested in about people in general, and the opposite sex specifically, are qualities that we often do not possess.  Moreover, we often tend to overlook these qualities in ourselves totally.   Therefore, the purpose of this article is simply to help you focus on your best qualities – Your Finest Selling Points.  Assuming that we know what they are, how does one go about ‘focusing’ on them?

Let us return to the awareness issue before proceeding.   Everyone learns early in life what others value or admire about us.   While we often take these qualities for granted we usually know what they are.   This is clearly obvious in extreme cases. 

The relatively plain woman with spectacular legs will undoubtedly be wearing a shorter skirt than the pretty girl whose legs are a bit chubby.  This is what we are talking about – putting your best foot forward – with a little subtlety.   People, regardless of gender, will heavily discount the value of anything that is flaunted or thrown in our faces.  Therefore, your ‘presentation’ of your finest selling points needs – of necessity – to be understated and “managed”.  A thorough understanding of these principles might, indeed, help to get ex back.  If you are trying to recover a broken relationship, your chance to win your ex back, will be heightened by knowing all these things.

Regardless of the venue, it is possible to – biding your time – manage to get out on the table what characteristics you possess that were admired by or jealously guarded by past partners.  Having a nearby friend offer that about you certainly does not hurt.

Another lead-in to this question is by asking the person you are getting acquainted with about what past partners valued in them.   This might take some doing but it is doable.   After you let them ramble on about themselves you will get your chance to do the same.

If you are attempting to get ex back from a breakup involving an understated partner, take heed.

Many people in wonderful and loving relationships occasionally find that something has happened and it is just not the same any more.  There are obviously two kinds of categories that these duets may fall into – one that is event-driven; one that is progressively degraded.  If you are dealing with the former – i.e. that something specific happened to strain or damage the relationship – then you might want to skip the next paragraph and zoom into the last one. 

If you find that your relationship, while once great, is no longer in that category then you should take heart, because you are in good company with millions of couples.  Relationships are under greater stress in our society than ever before.  From career, to finances, to kids to home and family, there are growing and continual stresses on even the best of relationships.  If your duet is suffering from a fizzling and energy-lost condition you should definitely begin to make some repairs before it is too late.

Not unlike other forms of human intervention in people-related scenarios, correcting a relationship requires to ingredients:  an understanding of what is wrong; an awareness and skill level necessary to fix it.   Let’s deal with the first one – understanding or diagnosis – to determine what it is that you need to fix.  This is part one and it must be done correctly so you attempt to fix that which is broken.   Mistakes at this point could send you toward fixing the wrong thing.  Begin your process with a cool-headed discussion and begin to document both parties feelings.   Then you both should prepare a list of changes – from most-needed to least.  You both should then respond to each other’s list and create a prioritized list of how you could participate in helping your mate obtain that which they say they need – in least-to-most difficult to accomplish.  This will produce a combined list of issues that can be addressed – with both your responses reflecting how difficult it will be for both of you to produce the changes that the other one needs.  This jointly-produced list will be the first cut at getting what you both want, since many of the items you listed as important will fall within the relatively easy-to-accomplish sector or your mate’s response.   This modified response scenario will help both of you give and take in the process of repairing of your relationship.

If you are working on an even-driven degradation of your relationship you should get the problem very well defined and determine if the transgressor did it intentionally.  If that was the case then you should work to repair that specific situation with appropriate apology and forgiveness.   Assuming that the injured party accepts and is willing to grant some genuine forgiveness, then the two of you can move on.

If you are attempting to get ex back or if you are developing a plan to win your ex back this type of repair strategy may give you structure.  Regardless, you may learn that an attempt to get your ex back might be met with a willing participant.

While the question of making trouble is asked more by women, men apparently are much more prone to actually act on their instincts than women.   We entitled this article ‘Making Trouble to Get Your Ex Back’ and it suggests an unwelcome involvement in the life of your Ex, to the point of extreme.  Because forcing yourself on your Ex or their friends can have emotional and even physical dangers and illegal ramifications, it cannot be taken lightly.   It is for this reason that we believe there are more men guilty of actually getting involved negatively in the lives of their Exes.  A thorough understanding of these principles might, indeed, help to get ex back.  If you are trying to recover a broken relationship, your chance to win your ex back, will be heightened by knowing all these things.

Our perspective on this issue and phenomenon in our culture focuses on what we believe are two, separate degrees of same.  The first category of ‘over involvement’ in your Ex’s life – in order to gain attention and/or reengage them vis-à-vis the relationship – is simply one of excessive, direct contact and a general level of ‘pushing yourself’ at them.  While typically annoying and counterproductive, some people actually believe that it will yield positive results if they are just ‘around more’. 

The evidence of recent studies reflects the assumed reality in the opposite direction.  Those people who have become a nuisance in the lives of their Ex are rarely successful in reigniting their lost relationship.  Even the least intelligent or observant Ex will see your over-involvement as a clear indicator of the life to come if they agree to your advances.

The second and more alarming category is what we call ‘If I can’t have you’ category.   It refers to both over-involvement and ‘predatory exclusivity’ to the point of threatened physical harm.   If your Ex attempts to date someone and you follow them around, eventually ending up at the home of their Date and physically threatening them – this is typically a Malicious Trespass or Threatened Assault Misdemeanor.  Our conclusion, therefore, is that any forced over-involvement in your Ex’s life that is unwanted to the point of Threatened Assault Misdemeanor is prima fascia evidence of both dangerous and illegal activity.   If you are attempting to get ex back from a breakup caused by the absence of these things, take heed.